Our Growing Girl

Something sad but super sweet

2010-03-03T08:14:00.001-08:00

I just had to share a moment of revelation for Paisley.

Yesterday Derek told me he was coming home last night. So, of course, I told Paisley that daddy was coming home. She gets all excited! Well, at the last minute last night Derek called and sounded ticked off. Ends up he wasn't going to get to home. I told Paisley that Daddy wasn't going to come home and she was ok with it.

Then, as I was getting her ready for bed, my mom left our house to go home and Paisley heard the door shut. She immediately perked up and said "DADDY!!!!" "DADDY???" I said "No baby, I'm sorry, Daddy's not coming home tonight." I went to start her prayers and she burst into tears and through her tears she said "Daddy...daddy...*sniff*....daddy...." It broke my heart. We cuddled and prayed and she went to bed tear-free.

I hate the fact that this is our life right now. But I know it's necessary for whatever God is wanting to achieve in and through us. And above all, I am SO EXTREMELY thankful for Derek's job. It provides for me to stay home with Pais and that is super important to us. Thank you, Jesus, for your blessings even though they may be hard to receive sometimes. I love you!

Prayer

2010-02-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

Over the last few months Derek and my families have been drug through the ringer. We have a couple of extremely big needs. Derek's dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Finally a week ago they removed it completely. Then last night he stopped breathing and collapsed on the floor and was rushed to the hospital. He is now in ICU on a ventilator. This is very hard on Derek. I mean, it's his Daddy. I couldn't imagine how scared I would be. It hurts our family to see Jerry in such pain and with such physical ailments. As ALWAYS, we are praying and believing for God's will and healing on his body and in his life.

Meanwhile, my grampa, had surgery on his shoulder (torn rotator cuff) and while he was in the hospital he aquired Hepatitis C. A disease contracted only by using dirty needles/medical equipment or sex with someone who has it. And since my grandparents have been together for 60 years we know where it came from. Then shortly after being diagnosed with that his doctor found cancer in his liver. 12 years ago my grampa had Melanoma cancer in one of his eyes. Treatments didn't get rid of it so they had to remove his eye completely. He did so well and recovered from that perfectly. His doctor did a surgery biopsy of his liver and it is, again, Melanoma cancer. He has 5 spots each the size of the end of your thumb on his liver. The doctor has given him 6 months left to live and has said that at this point any type of treatment would be pointless and useless. It's just too far progressed. So they have given him pain meds, anti-depression and anti-anxiety meds to "help" him with comfort.

My whole life my grampa has been my best friend. He was there when I was born, and walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. I love him so much my heart can't even express it. When I stop and let myself think about him my heart breaks. The thought of him not being around or not being able to talk to me on the phone hurts deeply. He's been a fixture of hope, love and strength in my life. It hurts even more to think my children will never really know how wonderful a man he is. I certainly don't want him to suffer but I selfishly want him here with me.

I ultimately believe that I serve a God that is more powerful than any sort of cancer, sickness or disease. I believe that the ONLY way to pray is with power. I believe that even as I stand here broken and hurting at the thought of our family members in pain, I am still STANDING on their behalf. I am being strong when they can't be. I am asking for their healing! In Jesus mighty name! I serve the God that raised people from the dead, gave sight to the blind, and HEALED THE SICK. MY God spoke to a lame man and told him to walk and HE DID! So, today...RIGHT NOW, I am saying "Jerry, Grampa, BE HEALED!!!" I claim healing over both their bodies this minute. And through this all may Jesus be high and lifted up. May it all be done to glorify Him and Him alone. We love, trust and have complete faith in the name of Jesus and for that alone I know that God's Will will ultimately be done.

Please pray in agreement with me for both these wonderful men.

Baby #2!

2010-02-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

Well, folks, I am pregnant again!! And I am super excited! And I can't wait to be a mommy of 2.

With that said, finding out that I'm pregnant has taught me a little something. I get so impatient for God to "just do something" sometimes that I put the cart before the horse. I almost don't allow Him to take the reigns at all. So here I sit rereading my last post, pregnant, and thrilled but feeling like a fool spiritually. Another lesson learned I suppose - one of so many. I will now tuck that little nugget lesson in my back pocket and march on slightly wiser. :)

I will leave you all with my stats (if that's what you call them at this point!):
We found out I was pregnant on Saturday Feb. 13th.
I estimate to be between 4-6 weeks along.
My due date should be sometime in October. (I'm thinking between the 11th and 25th)
And my first Drs. appointment is set for March 22nd.

Until next time...

Justified to vent

2010-02-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

So many times I've sat down to write only to save the post but not publish it. The posts consist of rants and raves about how hurt I feel to be stuck back at square one...again. To be trying to get pregnant again but with no success. They've never been published because I don't feel justified to vent. I feel like the pain I'm going through doesn't hold a candle to other peoples pain. That my "problem" isn't big enough to worry or stress over. And probably in the light of day it really doesn't. I may be making a bigger deal about it than is necessary. And I never want to discount the pain others are dealing with and the situations they are going through. I respect each and everyone of my friends and family that are dealing with similar/greater problems than mine. For the moment though, I hurt. I truly thought this time around would be different - easier. But I feel overwhelmed acting like everything is ok. I desperately desire to be strong and faithful. And I know God has a plan for my life and the position He has put me in again. Is it because He knows I'm strong enough to handle it? Is it because I'm totally NOT and it's a test of my faith? He wants to see where I'm at, who I will rely on to get me through, and how strong my faith in Him really is? Maybe it's all of it. I would love to say that each month that passes and I'm not pregnant, I look at the negative pregnancy test and say in a cheery voice and a shrug of my shoulders "Oh well, better luck next month!" But that is completely not the case. I'm broken...numb and void. I desire more for myself but how to reach that place of power and faith is foreign to me right now. I read back at blog posts from the month I got pregnant with Paisley and I had faith. REAL faith. Where did that go? Do I still pray with power like I did? Have I lost the urgency to seek His face completely and surrender my will to Him? Have I not proclaimed His name and given him complete control? I'm sure a psychologist would have a hay day picking through my thoughts and fears...

Yes, it does make it so much easier to have Paisley. She brings so much joy to my life. And I know God has a plan through this all. I just wish I knew what it was....don't we all.

Even though I don't know His plan, and it is tough I choose to stand strong and be joyful, because the joy of the Lord is my strength. And this is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it. He made this day I'm living for a purpose and for that is reason enough for me to rejoice and be glad!

I had more thoughts but they have all escaped me...so I will leave you with this beautiful picture.

So long...

2009-12-27T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been a very long time since I have even considered blogging. Pictures have been taken but I've failed to post them. I'm not going to say that I have been too busy because I haven't. I've just chosen not to. I try extremely hard not to overwhelm our lives with "too much". I hate being too busy to breathe. There is no sense in it and I've found that "busyness" does not make my family prosper or more productive. I've really been digging into friendship that I value and working hard to make sure my friends and family know they have my attention - ALWAYS. I have been learning a lot lately. A lot about myself and a lot about others. I fight my reluctance of change for the benefit of growth. It seems like those go hand in hand. I've found that I am starting to embrace new horizons all the while being content but not complacent. God has recently brought some beautiful relationships into my life. I am learning how to nurture those into friendships that will glorify Him. I love how God constantly stirs my life like a big pot of stew, adding the right amount of ingredients to keep me producing the right fragrance. Although these new relationships are so refreshing and much needed, I find myself struggling with the upkeep of my current relationships. I feel as though I'm climbing a muddy slope. I get a foot hold and then it gives way. I don't know if it's the "slope" or me but something is just not strong enough to carry us though. Are these relationships being pulled from me and I am just not letting go? Am I failing miserably? Is it the "slope" that's the problem or me? These are all questions I have pondered and prayed deeply about but with no resolution. I do know that God puts certain people in our lives for certain seasons but I need God to tell me to move on before I just walk away...and I haven't heard that yet. So I've stepped back...waiting for something - one way or another - to happen. In the meantime I will continue to pray, climb and befriend those who need me.

On a different note, I have decided that with the new year I am simplifying and organizing my life. From possessions, to my house, time, money, exercise, and diet ---- my life. I need to get on the ball and be more productive. Not add more but budget my life so it best works for "The Smith's". I want to be available for God to work in and through me...clutter physically and figuratively speaking has no place in my life.

I have not shared this with many but Derek and I are trying to get pregnant with baby #2. We started trying in September. So we are on to 4 months trying...again. I was almost certain that our second time around wouldn't be as difficult as the first. But this is the way God has it planned...and I trust Him fully. I have no room for complaints. Like I've said so many many months before...maybe this month is "the" month! So on we try with the most positivity and upbeat attitudes we can muster up...

Speaking of babies, Paisley is doing well. She is two shakes away from walking. She can identify, by using her finger, her nose, mouth, eyes, cheeks, chin, and ears. She is struggling with finding her hair although she has plenty of it! :) She is speaking well (I think) for a 14 month old. She can say - yes, please, thank you, hi bird (my mom has a bird she likes), brush (and she can brush her hair), daddy (not just Da-da anymore), night night (comes out more like ny-ny), ma'am (but we constantly remind her of her manners), Tee-Tee (that's what she calls her Auntie).

Christmas was a hoot. Blessed...blessed...blessed. We have no wants. Paisley was adorable. She wasn't sure what toy to play with first! :) We ate a lot, slept a lot, and just loved on family.

I suppose I will end this post with the reminder that much to my dismay, sometimes, God is ALWAYS in control. He blesses me in so many ways but I fall short of true faith when the going gets tough. May my faith be as strong always as it is today.

Blessings Friends...

Fall, is that you???

2009-10-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

***(I started writing this Sunday - when it was cold...now it's hot again...go figure!)***

Being a former Oregonian, I think it is just hilarious the tendencies of Floridians and the weather. Now, don't get me wrong I have fully turned into one of these "Floridians" myself. We are beach (and pool) bums all summer long - which starts no later than April. And by the end of August we are overtaken by sweat and sunburns and are yearning for Fall to take over. Which doesn't actually happen for another 2 good months or more. Still by Thanksgiving we have some that continue to wear shorts and tshirts. AND FINALLY by Christmas/New Year it's justifiably cold enough to break out the "real" winter clothes and light a fire. Then follows 2 months of frostbite cold and then March swoops in with it's 65-70 degree "springtime" weather. And before we know it April's here again and we are breaking out the swimsuits, and hitting the beach attempting to sun our alabaster selves!

When I moved here I thought it was the oddest thing that kids started school each year wearing shorts, tank tops and flip flops. When I was in school (in Oregon) we started the day after Labor Day every year and EVERY YEAR I wore my winter coat on the first day of school. So you can understand my culture shock! The one thing I do love about Oregon is the definition of the Fall and Spring seasons. It seems like here, in Florida, we have 9 months of summer and 3 months (if that) of winter. But I have come to love it here as well!

So with all that said FALL IS HERE!!! We broke out the corduroy's, thermal shirt, and puffy vest this morning for Pais. I have to say she looked absolutely adorable!! She looked like a little pink marshmallow in her puffy vest.

Here are some recent pictures you can enjoy!!

Mommy's little bookworm! So precious!

Mommy and Pais at her family birthday dinner at Sonny's.

I can't get enough of that beautiful face...

Pizza Face!!!

Pais in her pretty hat and scarf that Grammy made her.

And last but not least Pais in her marshmallow vest! So cute!

Happy 1st Birthday, Paisley Jaymes!

2009-10-10T04:38:00.000-07:00

Here I sit at 6:20am!! I am just thinking about the last year of my life and the wonderful blessing God gave me 12 short months ago.

I remember the night I gave birth to Paisley. It was crazy and emotional and painful...but so wonderful and breathtaking and spiritual. This time exactly one year ago I had given birth to my beautiful baby girl but had yet to meet that little bundle of joy. It wasn't until a couple hours later was I able to see my beautiful Paisley for the first time. What a glorious moment that was. The world of time ahead of us. Starting with a clean slate. A blank canvas of life and Jesus, Daddy and I are the painters. I remember what I was thinking that morning they brought my baby to see me...."God, THANK YOU!! I am so undeserving a blessing this great. Thank you for trusting me with this perfect life." I love the child more than I could ever describe.

Now I sit here on her first birthday (awake before anyone else in the house) and I think about the last year and all the amazing things that have happened to our family. The growth. The change. The blessings in their purest forms. It's so incredible the changes that take place in a child so quickly. All the stages of life have been one fun obsticale after another. Paisley has grown so much and developed wonderfully. I look at her and pray power, strength, compassion, and love over her life.

As I reflect back and I also press on to the future with happiness and zeal. And even though today is bittersweet, tears of happiness come to my eyes for the celebration of such an amazing year of Paisley's life. I can't wait to wake her up and sing her Happy Birthday! And then watch as all the people that love her the most surround her in celebration of just who she is and her amazing life so far!!

My dear Paisley Jaymes,

Happy 1st Birthday, my lovely girl! The last year of my life has been more than anything I could have asked for. The day you were born was hands down the VERY best day of my life. And if I though that back then, knowing you for the last year just makes that feeling so much more intense. You have added things to my life that only God knew I needed. You have been a bigger blessing in Daddy and my life than you will probably ever understand (until you have a beautiful child of your own). I pray health, life, power, love, and compassion over your life. I pray you always turn your Lord Jesus Christ. May He be your source of stength; your true hearts desire. I am sad my little baby is growing up. But I am so happy and excited to see where you'll go from here. May you ALWAY have the love of Jesus in your heart for that will be your true source of life. I love you so much, Paisley!

Love always and forever and no matter what, Mommy

The birthday girl just woke up and Daddy took a picture so I have to share...

Hmm...

2009-09-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

Oh Gosh....how does this go.....I think I can remember....

WOW!!! It's been a long time and so many updates to be made! I have gotten a little disenchanted with blogging for awhile so that is my reason this blog has gone blank for so long. I'm trying to get back "on the horse" and blog more. And one of my "September Resolutions" is to blog at least once a week. All the mommy's out there know that is not an easy task. It is totally something you have to set your mind to do. So with all that said....

First I want to start of by saying, THANK GOD FOR MY HEALTHY BABY!! Paisley has been sick twice in the last month and it has taken quite a tole on us all. First was a fever and sore throat then this last week was a stomach bug. I felt like we just could shake this last ickyness but finally IT IS GONE!! Praise the Lord! I think I take health for granted. Because when Pais is sick it just wears me out! For the sore throat and fever she was eating nothing but her milk and at times didn't even want that. And I felt like I was pumping her full of Motrin constantly. I HATE GIVING HER MEDICINE. Of course I will when needed but I'm not the kind of mom that resorts to meds first. Then came the stomach bug. Diarrhea and throwing up. WOW!! It's a whole new world as a mom when you're on your hands and knees in the middle of a restaurant cleaning up your child's vomit. And it's just so sad to see her so sick. We had her on the B.R.A.T. diet (Bananas, Rice, Apples and Toast) and Gatorade for a week. But enough with all that she is better now and we are thanking the Lord for that!!!

Next is Pais' hair! Her hair is growing and growing and growing! I mean it looks like kid hair now!! It is very full and absolutely beautiful! The color is lightening up, which I wonder if that will change back dark in fall and winter. And it has a tint of red (like her mommy's) in the sunlight. I trimmed her bangs a couple of months ago just to get them out of her eyes. But they are almost grown back out again. :)

She, of course, is crawling and is up on all fours now. She previously was just doing the "man crawl" but never had a hard time getting anywhere. She's always keeping me running!! :) But now she has started to pull up and push up to standing. Next will be walking....Oh my!

Derek has been home and off the road for a few weeks now and Pais and I are just eating that up!! It is so nice to be able to live like a normal family! Daddy gets to help with the bedtime routine and it may seem small but it's a huge deal to Pais. She loves when her Daddy prays with her, cuddles and lays her down. Maybe this is a glimpse of what God has in store for us soon???? Three years of Derek being on the road is starting to run it's course. We are pretty much over it...but also know that this is where He has us right now. And it provides for me to be able to stay home with Pais and that is VERY important to us.

Pais' best friend in the whole world is her puppy Maggie. They are quite the pair! I totally can see them getting into trouble in the near future! :) Maggie is the perfect dog for our family. She is so gentle with Pais and tolerates a lot! For example, the other day Maggie was laying on the floor sleeping by one of Pais' toys and Paisley crawls over and climbs over Maggie to get to her toy. Once she got over her she plops down and sits right and Maggie's head and plays with her toy. She sat there for about 5 minutes before she moved on to a different toy and Maggie just laid there and didn't even flinch! I love their relationship. It's like they have an understanding....Pais understands that Maggie is hairy and smelly but sooooo lovable and Maggie understands that Pais is rough and disastrous but she's still her "Sisy"and they love each other in spite of it all! Absolute sweetness!

Paisley has been attending Gymboree classes and is having a BLAST!!! I see her growing and growing each week. She has always been a very outgoing baby so that was never a problem but just watching her interact with other babies is so awesome! Her favorite friend at Gymboree is a little boy named Luke. He is so cute and just a sweetie and I think the only reason she likes him some much is because he pays her a lot of attention. He is just intrigued by her.

Over the last month I have started making a HUGE effort to get healthy and lose some weight. So Pais and I have been walking a minimum of 2 miles per day Monday thru Saturday. And it has been a blast. Pais loves getting out in the fresh air and so do I!! We normally go first thing in the morning because it's just so hot here. We end up feeling great and I've already lost 9lbs!! I have put on jeans I haven't worn in over a year!

I believe Paisley's 1 year molars are coming in. I haven't felt anything but she has been chewing on her hands and anything else she can find and she shoves them WAY in the back of her mouth. She has always been an early teether so it doesn't really surprise me. :)

We are in major party planning mode for Paisley's first birthday. Everything is coming together nicely. A friend of ours is making the cake and I am making cupcakes too. We are having it at this nice little coffee shop. It's more like a deli/coffee shop. We know the owner and she said she would love to have her party there. So we are pretty excited! The invitation are already made and ready to send out. Decorations will be easy. I just didn't want to get too carried away. I don't want it to be a production. I just want her and all of us to enjoy and celebrate the incredible blessing God gave us 12 short months ago.

It's getting late so I'm going to leave you with a few pictures. I hope you enjoy!

Playing at Grammy's house with a scarf.

This is how old she is going to be!! ONE!!! :)

Mommy and Pais being silly!

Let me clear this up...

2009-07-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

Not that it really matters a ton but somehow (I'm not entirely sure how) folks have gotten the wrong impression about my feelings on "all things girlie"...when it comes to my sweet Paisley. So just to clear some stuff up....

1. I LOVE DRESSES!!

2. Paisley has a TON of dresses.

3. Paisley wears dresses as often as seemingly possible being that she crawls and it is not very realistic at this moment in time.

4. I LOVE PINK and PURPLE - 90% of Pais' wardrobe consist of those colors.

5. I LOVE BOWS AND RIBBONS AND LACE!

6. I LOVE HEADBANDS and Pais has a billion - I'm just not a huge fan of the "brain squeezer" type.

7. I LOVE hair accessories!

8. I LOVE baby jewelry and she has a ton.

9. I WOULD LOVE to pierce Paisley's ears but I want it to be a decision that she can make for herself. So when she can decide that is when we will get it done.

10. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL THINGS GIRLIE!!

I suppose that is all. I just wanted to make that clear. Love to all!

Cuteness!

2009-07-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

The three cutest kiddies EVER!!!

such a big girl

2009-06-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in so long. I'll be honest...I'm kind of over blogging at the moment. I have the desire to but I feel like I can't organize my thoughts enough to get it all typed out. So this is the way it's going to get done....

1. Pais is crawling.

2. She has 5 teeth.

3. She can wave "bye-bye".

4. She is very close to drinking from a straw. We've been working on that for a few weeks now.

5. Pais got to go to her first MLB game. We saw the Yankee's play! And she had a blast.

6. We went to the zoo while we were in ATL. She loved seeing all the animals.

7. I'm pretty sure she has said her first word..."Yeah"...and I wouldn't normally say that is a first word but she always uses it to answer us. We will ask her a question like "Are you hungry?" or "Do you want a drink?" or "Do you love Mommy?" and she will reply with "Yeah".

8. Her 9 month birthday is in 10 days! WOW!! When did that happen?!?!?

9. She was an angel on the 5 hour car ride to and from ATL. I was so proud!

I guess that's about it. We are having such a wonderful time with our big girl! She is just growing like a little weed. I will post pictures of our Atlanta trip soon!

Father's Day!

2009-06-21T20:06:00.001-07:00

Pais and I made a video for Daddy for Father's Day and wanted to share it with you all too!

Jon and Kate

2009-06-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Not that it is any of my business and not that anyone besides me cares...but the whole Jon and Kate Gosslin controversy saddens me. The following are my feelings on the topic...

1. First and foremost...none of this would have probably happened if they weren't famous. If they were parents just like the rest of us none of this would even be an issue.

2. I don't think Jon is completely innocent.

3. I don't think Kate is a B word like everyone thinks she is.

4. Yes, I think that Kate has crossed the line a few times in the way she speaks and treats Jon. But coming from a wife (me) who has a husband (Derek) with a smidge of Jon's personality, those kind of guys need a little direction sometimes.

5. I think it's stupid when you see on magazine covers before and after pictures of Kate. The before pictures are from their first year of marriage (1999) and she has dark (her natural color) hair, 90's looking clothes, etc. And then they show her now with her nice clothes, highlighted hair, cute body. GOD FORBID she bought a few clothes and got her hair done in the last 10 years!!! And as for the body, she has 8 kids she's running around after, I'd be skinny too! And sure she had surgery on her tummy but it was FREE folks!! I have had only one kid and if someone offered free surgery to me I would take it faster than you could blink!!! AND!!.....If I had my own TV show and started making good (if not GREAT) money I WOULD GO SHOPPING!!! And I would buy clothes....nice clothes....clothes I would feel and looked great in!!!

6. It hurts my heart that 8 kids are in the middle of all this. They did nothing to deserve it. And coming from someone who came from a split home, you still love both your parents equally and it's hard for little kids to understand the new living arrangements.

7. I've only seen the first episode from this season so far but it wasn't great. How long are they going to continue with the show? Is it even something people are going to stay intrigued by? And how many people have already stopped watching the show just because of what they have heard in the tabloids?

I guess that's all my thoughts. People might hate them but I think they are ok people. They still make church and family important and that's more than I can say for the majority of America. And they try hard to be good parents and make the best decisions even if they don't always succeed...who of us as parents always do? They've made mistakes but are they horrible people? NO. Folks need to cut them some slack and point the judgement and blame to the people that really deserve it...the media and tabloids! They take things and run with them. They blow up little things into huge ordeals. I am in no way saying Jon and Kate are angels and don't have problems because I think they do. But for the love...people need to let them be.

And now that I've written all this...I AM probably making more of this than what is necessary but I'll post it anyway. =)

Pictures

2009-06-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Here are some current pictures. Pais is growing quick so don't blink! She can already stand alone next to the couch. She'll be crawling before we know it!!! =) Enjoy!

Major solid food = Major solid poops!

2009-06-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday Paisley's highchair got delivered. It is so cute and I LLLLOOOOOVVVEEE it! But most importantly Pais loves it! She looks like such a big girl in that thing. It is so much easier than the bumbo seat or the other little booster seat I have. I'm a Chicco brand freak so, of course, it's CHICCO!

But the real reason for this post is.....the POOP! Paisley has completely passed over baby food (good thing Mama pureed all that food ahead of time!! haha) and has gone onto "Big People" food. She loves pizza, burritos, potato soup, biscuits, rolls, bananas,.....and the list goes on and on. And with that big people food comes big people poop!! When Pais woke up from her nap this morning I walked into her room and the smell almost knocked me off my feet!! I looked in her crib and almost like she knew what I was thinking she looked at me and got this big grin on her face! :) Then we had another one this afternoon. This is just another thing that reminds me that my little baby is becoming a big girl!

Also, yesterday as we were eating lunch Derek looks over to me and says "Is it possible to be pregnant and breastfeed?" And I said "I'm sure some women can. It depends on the person I guess, why?" And he looks at Paisley sitting all big and proud in her highchair and then looks back at me and says "I want to start trying for another one...soon!" So, in conclusion, I suppose we will decide in the near future if we will be starting to "try" earlier than later. ;) It makes me thrilled just to think about it!!

Sicky girl.... =(

2009-05-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

Please be praying for Paisley. She has the beginnings of a cold and her two top teeth are working their way through. She is also running a fever. I'm not sure if maybe the cold symptoms have something to do with the teeth. All I know is I have an miserable girl. She is always so smiley even when she's sick but today she has only smiled like 3 times....it makes me sad.

Please just be in prayer for her to feel better.

2009-05-19T10:06:00.001-07:00

This is going to be a looooonnnnngggg post. I have so much to update! Just bear with me...you may want to take a few days to dig your way through it!! haha

First of all, we tried piggies for the first time! They were so cute!

Next here are a few puppy pictures! Maggie and Pais are quite the pair! They love each other so much. Maggie is not allowed on the carpet so Paisley rolls and rolls across the living room floor to the kitchen floor so she can play with Maggie. =) But there are times I will find Maggie creeping her way across the living room floor to get to Pais! They are like 2 little magnets to each other!

I noticed that the last bath pictures I had of Pais was when she was 4 days old! So I had to take some of our sweet girl! There is nothing like the sweetness of a clean baby!

We were at the mall the other day and found some sunglasses for $1.99. They were so cute I just had to get them! Ms. Hollywood....

A couple weeks ago Paisley got to hang out with her BFF. We were getting ready to meet Isaak's mommy for lunch. They are the two cutest kids I've ever seen!!!

Pais' cuzzy wuzzy just had a birthday. Carter is now 2! On his birthday Pais and I went and picked him up from school and he got to hang out with us that afternoon. We had so much fun. Carter loves Pais so very much and Pais loves her Bubbie!!

About 3 weeks ago now (I have been slacking on updating...) Paisley ran into the corner of the door frame with her forehead. Here are some pictures of the damage. (If you tilt your screen and squint you may be able to see the red bump on her forehead!!)

The weekend before Carter's birthday we took Paisley and Carter to the Tate rodeo. WE HAD A BLAST. Carter loved seeing the horses and bulls and the rest of us just loved hanging out! It was Derek, Me, Pais, Carter, Kim, Johnny and Amanda. I had never been to a rodeo before but I would TOTALLY go again! Here are some pictures of our fun night...

We, also, went to the Naval Air Museum a few weeks ago, just Derek, Paisley and I. I've been there a billion times but it was so much fun for the 3 of us to just get out and be together.

I love my family! The Lord couldn't have blessed me with a better one!

Getting to big!!

2009-05-11T11:25:00.001-07:00

As Paisley gets bigger and bigger it's getting tougher and tougher to carry that big girl in her carrier so Daddy and Mommy got our girl a big girl car seat!! And I am so glad we did! Big kid car seats are so much easier than taking a heavy carrier in and out of the car.

She loves it! And soooo pretty in pink and purple!

Blessed to be a mommy.

2009-05-10T19:38:00.001-07:00

Today, as we all know, was Mother's Day and what at great one it was. My first Mother's Day was so blessed. I was able to take a few minutes and reflect on my time as a mommy. I could not be happier than I am. I have a wonderful husband that in spite his slight imperfections he is a perfect man - in every way. He works so hard to provide for his family. He is a strong man of God that make decisions and leads our family in the way that God leads him. He is humble yet strong. He puts God first and his family next. He is a wonderful father and Paisley loves him dearly. The bond they have, honestly, makes me just a little jealous at times. But I love that she loves her daddy so much. They are quite the pair. I see them getting into trouble together in the future!! :) I have the most beautiful baby in world (sorry to all my friends with children but she is!) The Lord has blessed me with a good baby at that. She sleeps through the night wonderfully and when she lays down for her naps she goes right to sleep. When she smiles I feel an emotion I have never felt before having her - it lies somewhere between laughing and crying. I feel these short days of her life already slipping through my fingers like little grains of sand I'm trying to juggle. There are moments I look in her eyes as to just lock her little face in my mind and tuck it back into the back pocket of my memory so I can pull it out one day and remember how life once was. She brings out the best version of myself. I strive continuously each and everyday to live up to that person she needs me to be. A support system, a shoulder to cry on, arms to be held in, a lap to sit on. Last year when I was pregnant with her on Mother's Day I remember thinking "I am a MOM!!!" but I wasn't. I was a life line for my child. I continue to be just that - a life line but along with so much more. This year on my very first Mother's Day I am truly a mom. And such a blessed one. I pray that every woman be able to be filled with the joy I feel now - as a wife to a wonderful husband and a mother of the most wonderful, perfect, beautiful child in the world. Thank you, Jesus, for all that you have blessed me with.

Happy Mother's Day to you all.

Tough as nails...

2009-05-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

Well, over the last week Paisley has been quite the little Rabble Rowser. Monday she was playing on the floor and rolled across the living room toward the wall and clocked her forehead on the corner of the door frame! She was fine until I looked at her and then the water works started. It was pitiful. She had a knot right in the middle of her forehead for a couple days. But she's a trooper and got over it quick.

Then we went and saw daddy in DeFuniak Springs this week and as we were packing up to come home this morning Paisley was playing on the bed (because I will NOT let her play on NASTY hotel floors) and I look over at her from across the room just in time to see her fall off the bed onto the floor. And let me clarify - this bed was big...like 3 feet tall, and she busted through the pillow barricade I had up for her. It scared both of us. I know a baby won't die from a little fall but when it's your baby and you see them hit the floor in a thud it shakes you up a bit. She was crying - I was crying. We were a mess. But after a minute she stopped crying and was ready to play again.

We've got a tough girl - I love it! In the words of her Aunt Kim - "It ain't no hill for a stepper"

We have some pictures I need to post soon too. Until then....

WE LOVE PUPPIES!!!

2009-04-16T17:23:00.001-07:00

Check this out!! It is super duper sweet. Maggie and Paisley are playing so sweet!! I love that we have a dog that is so gentle with Paisley. We can leave the room with both of them by themselves and not have to worry a bit.

Pictures!

2009-04-14T18:29:00.000-07:00

So here is our big girl sitting up!! She thinks she is just something special!! I'm not sure what's with the look on her face though.

I tried very hard to get a picture of her teeth but she was not having it. She kept squeezing her little lips together. haha So instead of teeth pictures we have "teeth product" pictures! haha Look at Paisley's first toothbrush and tooth paste! We are cocked, locked and ready to rock for healthy teeth!! We're not using it yet, obviously, but we are ready when we need it!!

I'll try to pry those little lips apart and get a toothy picture soon!!

Paisley has an appointment with Dr. Beasley tomorrow morning so we'll have more updates soon!

Better late than never!

2009-04-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok so this week has been SUPER crazy! Paisley's Papi and Gramma Elva are in town (my dad and stepmom) and life as we know it is completely gone. Naps are tossed aside and our routine is out the window. Ok for now, but mommy is desperately seeking a little girl back in her routine. I love have a schedule and routine...I do better and most of all Pais does better. But for now we are having a blast!!

Here is some stuff that has been going on recently:

Last Tuesday Paisley got her first tooth!!! Immediately followed by her second tooth!!! haha - Pictures to follow another day....

Also Paisley has OFFICIALLY started sitting up without any props. She's been working hard on it for the last couple months but has mastered it this week!! Makes mommy's job soooooo much easier!! She is getting so much more independent and that is very bittersweet!

And #1 on our list of things to brag about.............Friday was Paisley's 6 month birthday!!! YAY!!! Kindergarten here we come!! haha It was a wonderful day complete with mommy and daddy singing Happy Birthday and a party too!! (Ok the party wasn't for her.......just a get together at my sister's but we can pretend can't we!?!?!?)

That's pretty much it! Pictures will soon follow with our big girl sitting up and her toothy grin!!!

Love you all!

So much to share...

2009-03-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in such a little amount of time. So I need to catch up!! In this blog I have included a few different topics with pictures and videos to match! Enjoy!

First of all, Paisley has gotten the pleasure of spending a lot of time with her BFF this week. So we have a lot of super cute pictures of her and Isaak...

Cuteness at it's best right here!!

They both looked scared or something. haha

She pinned him!!!

They are so sweet with each other! BFF!!

These are "gentle touches". I keep telling Pais that when she touches peoples faces she has to be gentle. :)

This is one of my favorite pictures of Isaak and Pais. Pais is on the left; Isaak's on the right. Gotta love the diaper butts!! So sweet.

Here are a couple of pictures of our goofy girl, and some with her goofy daddy!!

That was us "skinning the rabbit"....gross I know, but that's what we've always called it when we pull her shirt off. :)

Daddy and "The Pais"!

Sweet Baby kisses!!

And last but not least.....Penny the Pig. haha

We were laying down in bed this afternoon while Paisley was napping, when we heard voices coming from our front yard. We looked out our window and there were people standing in our front yard. So Derek goes outside and come to find out they were all looking at this pig that had some how wandered into our yard and was eating something by the side of our house. So enjoy this wacky moment with us...pictures and video!!

Paisley getting to touch her first piggy!!!

Here is the video of this super weird incident.

You know you're a mommy...

2009-03-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

As a mommy there are times that things happen and it hits you like a brick between the eyes - "I am soooooo a mommy!!! haha" and you end up getting a good laugh over it. So I have come up with "You know you're a mommy..." its kind of like "You might be a redneck..."

(all of this has actually happened to me)

You know you're a mommy when your standing in a tanning bed - naked - and feel something hit your leg and look down and realize your leaking milk!

You know you're a mommy when you've ever heard the words "Don't suck on the puppy's toes!!" come out of your mouth!

You know you're a mommy when you find yourself humming a tune and realize it's the song from your baby's exersaucer!

You know you're a mommy when you start to read "Mr. Brown can moo...can you?" for the billionth time to your child but in the middle you have to get up to cook dinner and without skipping a beat finish the story word for word from memory!

You know you're a mommy when Diet Coke is also referred to as the "hard stuff"!!

You know you're a mommy when something inappropriate comes on TV and you score an Olympic gold in the sprint and hurdles trying to get to the remote control to change the channel!

You know you're a mommy when your baby falls asleep in your arms and instead of taking her to her crib you just lay down on the couch and soak up a warm, cuddly, nap with your most favorite person in the world.

You know you're a mommy when the sweetest sound to your ears is your baby's laugh!

You know you're a mommy when you fold and stack clean clothes on the bed, then walk out of the room and when you return your once neat stacks are now flung all over by a little someone!!

You know you're a mommy when your kid has a better wardrobe than you!!

I'll quit for now; I could go on for ever... :)

We got a stowaway!!

2009-03-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

Daddy is packing to leave tomorrow and he opened his bag and found a stowaway!! The cutest one you've ever seen!! Take a look at what we found!....................

She ate like a champ!!

2009-03-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

Soooooooooo, Paisley got to take her first bite of oatmeal today!! And she ate it like she had been doing it for years! Daddy and I are so proud of her! Here is some pictures and a video so you can enjoy the experience with us!!

Hungry yet?!!?

2009-03-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

So it's late and I have to wake up early but I just had to share...I'm soooo excited!!

I am gearing up to next month when Paisley will start solids. And instead of buying store bought baby food I'm making my own. Yes, Yes, call me a hippy.........whatever......ya'll just wish you were as cool as me!! haha :) So here is what my freezer looks like full of baby food!! YAY!!! I'm all ready for a hungry girl!

I didn't have enough containers for all the food I made so I had to use ziplocks!!

Ooooo, and a mucho mucho plus to making my own food...

I added up how much I spent on buying the food and how many ounces I got and compared it against how much I would have spent on the same amount of Gerber food and....................drum roll please!!!....I saved 90%!!! ($30 just on the food I made tonight!)

YAY!!! It make me sooooo excited. I'm a nerd I know it doesn't take much to make me happy!

Night Night...

5 month old and I have a new sippy cup!

2009-03-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

5 months old today, new sippy cups, how big are we getting???

Look at my new sippy cup!! I'm such a big girl...Look at me go!!

Here's some pictures!!

It's crazy that my little baby will be starting solids next month!!

Some puppy and beach pictures.

2009-03-07T17:26:00.000-08:00

A few puppy pictures. Paisley loves her puppy....And Maggie loves her "Sisy".

Paisley's very first trip to the beach!! Super fun!

I love TARGET!!!

2009-03-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

We have a new Target on our side of town. And I am in love!!! I have been there 4 times in 2 days!!

How much I love MY new Target:

1. The new carts are soooo cool. I want to take one home and sleep in it!

2. The store is perfect!!....Absolute perfection!

3. It is a GEM....a beautiful perfect GEM!!

4. The Target sign is like a beacon pulling at me..............just tugging at my soul!

5. If OUR Target was a man, I would make love to him!!!! :) haha!

You have never seen a Target like OURS!! It is sooooo wonderful and beautiful and scrumptous! It has a Starbucks and Pizza Hut!!

Oh how I love it!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

Just thought you all should know!! haha

Some new pictures!

2009-03-04T13:08:00.001-08:00

Livi and Paisley in their matching jammies!

Sweet little Monkey Toes!!!

All the cousins!

Paisley cuddling with her Thumper!

New Pictures!

2009-02-24T18:42:00.001-08:00

As I posted my previous entry I realized I have a few recent pictures!! Enjoy!

I'm SOOOO sleepy!! Just 5 more minutes momma!!

Look at those beautiful blue eyes!!

I like to eat my toys....mmmmmm good!!

Just a-playing!!

Livi and Paisley swingin'!!

Our very first trip to the park!!

My sweet happy happy girl!!

Enjoy!!

My big girl!!

2009-02-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

I know I say a lot that my baby is growing so fast...but it's true. She was playing on the floor today - like she does everyday, she doesn't even like to sit in a bouncer or chair anymore - just the floor, she loves it! Anyway, so she's on the floor, I'm on the couch looking at her little butt and in a short second she shoves her little knees up under her and crawls a FOOT AND A HALF!! I know it was probably a fluke thing and it won't happen again for awhile but what if it's not and my baby is starting to crawl at 4 months old!?!?!? haha :) Only time will tell I suppose. But it makes a Mama proud!! I would pay anything to have it on video!! It was UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Also,

I'm glad I am not the only one that has been having "Baby Fever". I just read Christy's blog and apparently she is too!! I wish I was prego now!!! It's not something that has just come up recently either. Yeah...I've wanted another one even before I left the hospital. Crazy as some say I am I think that is what God has called me to do. To be a mommy and be a good one. Some go to Africa - I raise my kids in the way of the Lord and do it all for His Glory while allowing the love of God to pour from myself and my children. The thought of God using me in this way empowers me.

I will end on this note - Motherhood is not always easy but there is absolutely nothing I'd rather do more.

Random Ponders

2009-02-12T13:50:00.000-08:00

I few thing that have past through my mind recently:

1. Remember back in the '90s when "bodysuits" were in style??? For anyone that doesn't know what I'm talking about I have a picture...

Yes, as SUPER attractive as they were, I wore them in the Jr. High!! And as I was thinking about this and now being a mother I realized what these "bodysuits" really are......ONESIES!!....BIG ONESIES!!!

2. As I was reading to my daughter yesterday I looked up from reading and peered over my reading glasses and as she looked at me and smiled I realized......I'm THAT mom....the old-lady-mom that wears reading glasses. When did that happen???

3. I think its important to have a budget. Period.

4. I was watching Jon & Kate + 8 the other day and she said something that I have felt but thought I was dumb for thinking....and that was "the 2 hours from 4:00pm to 6:00pm are the hardest of the whole day, everyone is up from their naps by 4, everyone is hungry and Jon doesn't get home until 6, it's just tears and chaos." That's totally what I've been feeling but I must add Paisley is totally not a fussy girl. She is just higher maintenance during that time.

5. I think icicles are beautiful! But they can kill someone in a split second. They're kinda deceiving little buggers!

6. I have a heavy wood bracelet that I got in ATL a couple of years ago. It is my style staple. I wear it anytime I wear something brown and occasionally even when I wear black. It cost $2.00 at a kiosk in Underground Atlanta. A good friend bought it for me because they only took cash and all I had was a debit card. I loved it then and I still love it today - 2 years later! (P.S. Thanks Tara!!)

7. The Olympics Rule!! I wish the Olympics were on 24/7....but then I guess it wouldn't be as prestigious to be a winner.

I suppose that is all....until next time....Ta Ta!!

2009-02-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

I realized today that just a blink ago my child was a couple hours old and I was holding her in my arms thanking God for every little bitty part of her - toes, hair, feet, eyes, brain, heart and the list goes on. Now I sit her watching my baby on the floor rolling over and attemping to crawl. I feel like the last 4 months have been a flash in time and if I didn't have the pictures to prove it I would swear it all was a dream.

The last 2 days I have stayed at home and spent some wonderful and unforgettable moments with Paisley.

I can't afford to have the next 4 months go as fast as the last. My sweet baby will be too big by then. I want her to stay little. I look into her eyes and have a "ceize the moment" moment...and I try to freeze her little face into my memory. I touch her skin thoughtfully as to not forget how soft it once was. I listen to her cries, laughs, and coos like it was the first time I've ever heard them. I think it is so depressing to think that I can never get this time back with her. I try to take advantage of every moment.

And to anyone who does not have children, you can't realize how your heart can physically hurt and ache because you love your kids so much. I will admit I'm crying right now at the thought of my sweet girl growing up.

I just have to enjoy every moment I have and look forward to every milestone to come.

25 Reasons why Paisley is my favorite person in the world!!!

2009-02-04T20:42:00.000-08:00

1. She pulls my hair with love.
2. She laughs at my funny voices.
3. She sucks her thumb.
4. She loves "Maggie Kisses".
5. She giggles when I bite her ear.
6. She tries to suck on my nose when I kiss her.
7. She likes to be upside down.
8. She loves looking at the "other" baby in the mirror.
9. She has monkey hair and no matter what I do it always looks like I NEVER brush it.
10. She laughs like me.
11. She sleeps so good!
12. Her poop is the only poop that doesn't gross me out.
13. She likes to cuddle in bed with me late at night and watch The Golden Girls.
14. She started to drool.
15. She fits into 6-12 mos. clothes.
16. She helps me pray more.
17. She makes me watch the words that fly out of my mouth.
18. She likes staying in her jammies all day....just like me!
19. She sings to the music in the car.
20. She's teething...and that means a fussy baby but she wants me more and that makes me happy.
21. She sweats when she sleeps.
22. She loves me even when I'm not the most lovely.
23. She sees beyond my messy hair and left over make up.
24. She relies on me for everything she needs.
25. I'm her mommy.

More of my girl!

2009-02-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

Here are some more pictures of my girl!!

I love being a mommy!

2009-01-28T19:25:00.000-08:00

I am overwhelmed at the thrill of being a mommy. Every morning I am so lucky to be woken up by the most beautiful baby girl in world. I walk into her room and peek over her crib and we lock eyes and in a funny voice I sing "Good Morning Good Morning my sleepy head...get your hiney out of bed!!" And I undoubtedly always get a huge smile and full out laugh, like she knows what I'm saying! And most of the time by the time I get to her room she has already rolled on to her back and is ready for a hug! Then I swoop her up and squeeze her tight and onto the changing table we go. I love that she is so happy in the morning. Our days consist of diaper changes, baths, feedings, trips to see Auntie or Grammy, lunches with friends, errands to run, groceries to shop for, bills to pay, chores to do, and of course naps to take. We end up being pretty busy for the most part.

I know it's cliche but I feel extremely blessed to have such a wonderful opportunity. Jesus is so good to our little family. He provides perfectly all the things we need. I love being a mommy!!!

Here are a couple pictures! Enjoy!

Pretty pictures of our pretty girl!

2009-01-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

Here's our pretty girl!! Enjoy!

Roll Tide Roll!

2009-01-02T14:35:00.000-08:00

The game hasn't even started and Paisley is all tuckered out!

New Pictures!

2009-01-01T09:19:00.002-08:00

Paisley has the sweetest smiles!

Pais at Grammy's house sporting a funny hat!

Our little family ringing in the New Year. (We were all asleep by 10:45!)

My happy girl!

Daddy and Paisley swimming on Christmas Day.

The three of us taking a Christmas Day swim.

This is the funniest picture to me...I was making funny faces at her and she was dying laughing!! It was so precious!

Pretty pretty little princess!

We are having such a blast with Paisley! She is so much fun. She is learning so much and growing everyday.

Enjoy our pictures.

Typing with a baby on my shoulder.

2008-12-12T12:07:00.000-08:00

Well, today Paisley went in for her 2 month check and.....shots. :( It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt...is my motto. As we were standing in the exam room at her pediatricians office I try to explain the Paisley that this was going to hurt a little. Being only 2 months old she understood the best she could. :) The nurse came in with gloves and needles, and said "Mom, this is going to hurt you more than it hurts her." You know what, folks? It sure did. It broke my heart. Paisley was crying - I was crying. We were a mess. There is just something about seeing your baby in pain that will tear you up inside.

Now we have have a very fussy baby and a very tired mama. The Tylenol has been given, but still the best medicine is "Mama". So here I sit - Typing with a baby on my shoulder. :)

Here are some stats:

She now weighs 12lbs. 3oz.
23 inches long.
Healthy as a horse.

Sorry about such a short update...I don't have all the free time I use to!! :)

More pictures!

2008-11-13T18:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome Paisley!

2008-10-20T17:09:00.000-07:00

Paisley made her way into our world Friday, October 10th, 2008 at 1:30am. She weighed 7lbs. 14oz. and was 19 1/2 inches long. It was after 25 1/2 hours of labor and a C-section that she made her debut but it was all completely worth it.

We came home from the hospital on Sunday, October 12th. And I am so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mommy! - My dream!

Here are some pictures you all have been waiting for: